The future of us.

There is nothing we share anymore.

He has no passion for the things I love.

No dreams, no goals, no plans in common. 

He has moved from a necessity to a mild convenience. 

So mild, in fact, it could be called an inconvenience, 

a temporary disruption. 

And for for the first time in a very long time, I don't care. 

I don't feel despair. 

I no longer feel scared.

A little bit trapped, 

But no longer afraid.

My future is mine alone. 

Mine to plan. 

Mine to look forward to.

my words

Thoughts in my head 

Feelings, ideas, plans. 

Writing them down is never easy. 

Articulating almost impossible. 

Dreams in my head

Wanting, needing, yearning. 

Taking them to fruition is never easy. 

Living them almost impossible. 

Words in my head

Bursting, screaming a whisper. 

These are my words, these are dreams, these are my thoughts. 

Dying to get out. 

work in Progress

Where does she go?

The crisp and cold morning bought relief from the darkness of night, 

Numbing her fingers and nursing her thoughts. 

Her dreams were not her friends today. 

Disturbed and distressed. 

A new plan is now needed. 

A new future.

A new everything. 

She cannot think, 

Creativity has abandoned even her darkest moments. 

Why has she allowed him to rob her of all her passion?

Feeling timid , feeling sad.

And oh, so lonely. 

No good in Goodbye

Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?
Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?
Where's the "us" in "trust" gone?
Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?
Now I'm the "low" in "lonely"
'Cause I don't own you only
I can take this mistake
But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

There's an "art" in breaking hearts
But there's no fair in farewell.

Taken from lyrics from the Script. 

very dark

I'm in a dark space,

Thinking thoughts I've never thought. 

My heart is sad, my mind is weary 

So weary, so bleak, so frought. 

No future to hope for.

No sunny horizon. 

Nobody to speak to. 

No-one holding my space. 

What is left for this lifetime?

Nothing to hold, 

Nobody worthwhile. 

My world imploding -

No warming,  just cold. 

I'm all out of asking, 

I'm all out, so all out.

Just can't anymore, 

HELP ME!!!!

Half

“Do not love half lovers

Do not entertain half friends

Do not indulge in works of the half talented

Do not live half a life

and do not die a half death

If you choose silence, then be silent

When you speak, do so until you are finished

Do not silence yourself to say something

And do not speak to be silent

If you accept, then express it bluntly

Do not mask it

If you refuse then be clear about it

for an ambiguous refusal is but a weak acceptance

Do not accept half a solution

Do not believe half truths

Do not dream half a dream

Do not fantasize about half hopes

Half a drink will not quench your thirst

Half a meal will not satiate your hunger

Half the way will get you no where

Half an idea will bear you no results

Your other half is not the one you love

It is you in another time yet in the same space

It is you when you are not

Half a life is a life you didn't live,

A word you have not said

A smile you postponed

A love you have not had

A friendship you did not know

To reach and not arrive

Work and not work

Attend only to be absent

What makes you a stranger to them closest to you

and they strangers to you

The half is a mere moment of inability

but you are able for you are not half a being

You are a whole that exists to live a life

not half a life”

Gibran Khalil Gibran

Don't miss me more than once a day.

DON’T MISS ME MORE THAN ONCE A DAY

Don’t miss me more than once a day,

For life is moving fast.

Don’t wish all of your time away,

Dreaming of the past.

Don’t waste the moment looking at,

The things I left behind me.

I’m not there anymore my love,

Your heart is where you’ll find me.

Don’t dread to say my name, sweet one,

Don’t fear the wrath of sadness.

Just take the love you had for me,

And turn it into gladness.

Some days your anger will rush out,

Your tears will find their way.

To me, wherever I am then,

I’ll soothe them all away.

When I am gone don’t miss me more,

Than once, or twice a day.

There’s so much life to live, my love.

I’m with you, all the way.

Beautifully written by Donna Ashworth 

The predicted

"Dead through spite", he said

But he's not always right. 

He was just a mortal man..

"Sad concepts will come to harm each one, Temporal dignified, the Mass to succeed."

What does he mean? 

The rise of the feminine,  its long overdue:

"Women in mourning, the pestilent she−monster: The Great One to be no more, all the world to end."

Great mother is wakening, she is long tired:

"After great trouble for humanity, a greater one is prepared, The Great Mover renews the ages."

Any port in a storm.

Why is he still with you?

they ask.

Are you not worth more?

How long till all resources run dry?

It's all give and not much take.

What am I waiting for?

Am I being unfair?

And the lies. Oh those lies.

All the stories in his head.

All those words better left unsaid. 

Ideas that shouldn't be misread, 

I'm thinking of my future with dread.

There's a storm out there

There's wind and waves crashing.

I cannot swim, I cannot float, I cannot breathe. 

This is a harbour, 

This is not my safe harbour. 

But it's any port in a storm

where possible - make a u-turn

Was that it? The final straw

The blunt return, complete ignore?

Is that all? How little you care

Is this my future, should I dare?

You speak, and speak

and I must listen. 

Your voice drones on

it has become my prison.

My almost lover, make a u-turn.

Do I go back before I crash and burn?

Mutzi

Tears for you today, 

Wondering if the time was right 

Tears that you couldn't stay,

Were you ready or just out of fight?

Memories all flooding back 

Days when your spirit was young

All the fun and games we had

A personality so happy, larger than life itself. 

Goodbye little one.