Any port in a storm.

Why is he still with you?

they ask.

Are you not worth more?

How long till all resources run dry?

It's all give and not much take.

What am I waiting for?

Am I being unfair?

And the lies. Oh those lies.

All the stories in his head.

All those words better left unsaid. 

Ideas that shouldn't be misread, 

I'm thinking of my future with dread.

There's a storm out there

There's wind and waves crashing.

I cannot swim, I cannot float, I cannot breathe. 

This is a harbour, 

This is not my safe harbour. 

But it's any port in a storm

where possible - make a u-turn

Was that it? The final straw

The blunt return, complete ignore?

Is that all? How little you care

Is this my future, should I dare?

You speak, and speak

and I must listen. 

Your voice drones on

it has become my prison.

My almost lover, make a u-turn.

Do I go back before I crash and burn?

Mutzi

Tears for you today, 

Wondering if the time was right 

Tears that you couldn't stay,

Were you ready or just out of fight?

Memories all flooding back 

Days when your spirit was young

All the fun and games we had

A personality so happy, larger than life itself. 

Goodbye little one.

Done

I just can't,  I'm all out of try,

And I'm not sure if I even want to anymore. 

It happens again and my patience is spent. 

Friends who no longer trust, 

Joy that no longer shines.

Fun that has long shied away.

Nothing more to look forward to. 

No longer believing the empty promises. 

I'm tired, I'm spent,  I'm done! 

To new starts...

Here we are. Not really knowing

What do we want, how do we feel.

Hearts ever hopeful, dreaming and yearning

A brave new start, a brave new us.

Carrying our history or leaving it behind?

Learning to open and feel, again

Learning to trust and share.

Making time to make memories.

Treading gently, cautiously, 

Feeling each other out.

Are you?

When times are quiet and the days are new

I often stop and think of you.

Are you happy and do you love

the world you're in and the sky above.

The sounds and sights and smells around,

that place in your heart where secrets are found.

Do you stop and think of me

or not as far as your eyes can see?

The sweet smell of rain as it hits the ground,

and noise at night when there is no sound.

Do you yearn for my touch or the feel of my hair?

The warmth of my skin or do you even care?
Do you yearn for me, or for another
Shall I pursue for now or close the cover?

I need

I need to think awhile -

I need to write it all down.

Write it all down least I forget

I need to forget and let go.

I need to write it all down,

Unscramble the words,

lift the burden of confusion.

I need to release and let go.

Tumbling, falling

Hit the floor with a bump.

Memory to haunt me

I need to let it all go.

💥

Saying goodbye. bit by bit.

Tomorrow a bit of me leaves. 

Tearing away at my soul. 

So many cherished memories. 

So many silent tears.

Tomorrow a bit of me drives away. 

Clearing the way for space. 

Space to grow and space to breathe. 

Space to finally start to heal.

Growing up and moving on.

One day, when the world is still young,

I will pack up my heart

And move right along.

One day, When I feel strong,

I will listen to my heart

While it sings a new song.

One day, before I am too old,

I will not wait around

I will not so as I'm told.

Please go..

Why do you need to lie and cheat?

I am not ready to compete.

Go to her, she can have you

Leave me alone to live my life.

Why should I grovel at your feet?

I am not ready to compete.

You need me more than I need you

I’ll be fine without you in my life.

Please go now and leave me.

I will not compete.

You want her and she wants you.

What is holding you back? 

Like a vulture, picking me bare

Waiting till I have no more . 

Please go.

Games of the soul.

You forget that I am human

You think I have no soul.

A game with my emotions

My feelings pay the toll.

As I sit alone tonight

When all others feast with friends

I wonder where I went wrong.

And how do I make amends.

The rain is falling softy

The sky is painted grey

The sadness fills my heart, I know

The pain won’t go away.

My friend I wish you well.

May the morning bring you light.

I hope you never witness

The gloom I feel tonight.

This one for Eddie

Only silence now.

Memories fading away, away

Forgotten your touch, you voice

forgotten you smile.

Birthdays and anniversaries come

and go again.

Hidden away in my heart

locked up tight.

One day the release will come.

One day, but not yet.

Not yet, still much to do.

Still much to forgive.

So not yet!