I need

I need to think awhile -

I need to write it all down.

Write it all down least I forget

I need to forget and let go.

I need to write it all down,

Unscramble the words,

lift the burden of confusion.

I need to release and let go.

Tumbling, falling

Hit the floor with a bump.

Memory to haunt me

I need to let it all go.

💥

Saying goodbye. bit by bit.

Tomorrow a bit of me leaves. 

Tearing away at my soul. 

So many cherished memories. 

So many silent tears.

Tomorrow a bit of me drives away. 

Clearing the way for space. 

Space to grow and space to breathe. 

Space to finally start to heal.

Growing up and moving on.

One day, when the world is still young,

I will pack up my heart

And move right along.

One day, When I feel strong,

I will listen to my heart

While it sings a new song.

One day, before I am too old,

I will not wait around

I will not so as I'm told.

Please go..

Why do you need to lie and cheat?

I am not ready to compete.

Go to her, she can have you

Leave me alone to live my life.

Why should I grovel at your feet?

I am not ready to compete.

You need me more than I need you

I’ll be fine without you in my life.

Please go now and leave me.

I will not compete.

You want her and she wants you.

What is holding you back? 

Like a vulture, picking me bare

Waiting till I have no more . 

Please go.

Games of the soul.

You forget that I am human

You think I have no soul.

A game with my emotions

My feelings pay the toll.

As I sit alone tonight

When all others feast with friends

I wonder where I went wrong.

And how do I make amends.

The rain is falling softy

The sky is painted grey

The sadness fills my heart, I know

The pain won’t go away.

My friend I wish you well.

May the morning bring you light.

I hope you never witness

The gloom I feel tonight.

This one for Eddie

Only silence now.

Memories fading away, away

Forgotten your touch, you voice

forgotten you smile.

Birthdays and anniversaries come

and go again.

Hidden away in my heart

locked up tight.

One day the release will come.

One day, but not yet.

Not yet, still much to do.

Still much to forgive.

So not yet!

This one for Pat

Lost in time

reaching out through space,

I close my eyes

and search for your face.

Your hands are my solace

Your touch I can feel

An ocean apart

And still very real.

A glimpse in the mirror

A crystal to hold

Now warm with emotion

Where once felt stone cold.

A beach walk at twilight

Cold rain on my skin

Your warmth is the comfort

I feel from within.

Time to go.

Can you feel the desert tonight?

She's calling,  she's calling us back.

Back to the fires that eat up the sky.

Back to the dust,  back to the love, back to our dreams.

Windows to the Soul

There's an old woman who looks back through the mirror,

Her eyes darkened with sorrow and fears.

She's confused, she's concerned and she's weary.

Trying to be brave, as she fights off the tears.

Her life is not how she planned it,

And she wonders just where she went wrong.

Once there was happiness and love and friendship,

Now she wonders if she will ever feel strong.

But she's not ready to give up at the moment,

She's not all out of fight, this she knows.

Time is to short for dreaming and wishing.

She's making plans to move forward and grow.

Talking from the heart...

Just arrived home,

Dogs to greet me but you're not here.

Wondering and pondering,

Am I doing this right? Am I on the right track?

Is this just a big hole,

for all my resources, emotions, energy?

Where will it lead? Where will it end?

I looked where I shouldn't,

curiosity always kills that cat, does it not?

Now even more questions.

Never to be asked and not expecting honest answers.

"Every reply a different story,

Every answer a twisted truth!"

I'm tired of competing,

I'm too old to start again.

The cage has always been open.

I was scared you would fly away,

always wondered when.

Now I am worried your won't!

Can I cry now?

Can I cry now?

Will it help?

I can’t face this – not again!

I am not ready to lose you too.

Not this way. Not like this!

It’s not fair and it’s certainly not right.

And I know it’s unfair to expect you to fight.

To want you to fight – to need you to fight.

It’s not fair to force you to endure this,

Just for me!

Can I cry now – just this once?

Screaming Silent Tears

Frustration, not knowing why -

not knowing when.

This coping is not working. Who am I fooling?

Proud exterior, hiding a small and scared soul.

The waiting, uncertainty.

Loving and wanting,

Hoping and dreaming.

And my heart is screaming silent tears

Because silent tears are all I know.